In a recent article by the BBC, the issue of coercive control warning signs in relationships is highlighted, bringing attention to the invisible yet powerful ways in which women can be trapped emotionally, mentally, and financially. This form of control is subtle and insidious, often leaving the victim unaware of the extent of manipulation they are under until they feel helpless.
Many women, especially those who are separated or divorced, may look back and recognize coercive control warning signs they hadn’t noticed during their relationship. Or worse, some may still be facing these manipulative tactics in a current situation. Understanding these signs can empower you to take the steps necessary to reclaim your life.
What Is Coercive Control
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviors that someone uses to dominate their partner, not always through physical violence but by manipulating their emotions, finances, and freedoms. It can often be hard to pinpoint because the behaviors can seem, on the surface, like concern or care. However, the end result is that one partner ends up feeling isolated, financially dependent, and emotionally worn down.
Here’s an overview of the article’s main points, along with three critical coercive control warning signs to look out for if you suspect this could be happening to you—and what actions you can take to protect yourself.
Overview of the Article
The article delves into the various forms of coercive control, highlighting how perpetrators use manipulation to gain complete control over their partners. Unlike obvious physical abuse, coercive control is much more difficult to detect. It can involve emotional manipulation, restrictions on finances, and the isolation of the victim from their support networks. This control can continue to affect women even after they have left the relationship, especially in cases where there are shared finances or children involved.
By recognizing coercive control warning signs, women can take proactive steps to protect themselves, seek help, and ultimately reclaim their independence.
3 Key Coercive Control Warning Signs to Look Out For:
1. Emotional Manipulation
One of the most common forms of coercive control is emotional manipulation. This can range from persistent criticism and belittling comments to guilt-tripping and gaslighting, where your partner makes you doubt your own memory or perception of events. You might find yourself constantly apologizing, walking on eggshells, or feeling like you can never do anything right.
If someone’s words consistently make you feel small, incompetent, or dependent on them, this is a major coercive control warning sign. Emotional manipulation can erode your self-esteem, leaving you feeling trapped in the relationship with nowhere to turn.
2. Isolation from Friends and Family
Another significant coercive control warning sign is isolation. A coercive controller will often try to distance you from your loved ones—whether through discouraging you from seeing them, causing drama whenever you attempt to make plans, or outright forbidding you from contacting certain people.
This tactic is designed to keep you dependent on them, as you have fewer outside perspectives to help you recognize the unhealthy dynamics in the relationship. The isolation may start slowly, with subtle comments like, “I don’t like the way your friends influence you,” or “Why do you need to see your family so much?” Over time, this can evolve into complete control over who you see and when.
3. Financial Control
Financial control is a powerful tool that coercive partners use to maintain dominance. This might involve controlling access to shared accounts, monitoring your spending, limiting your ability to work, or providing you with an “allowance.” By keeping you financially dependent, they can make it nearly impossible for you to leave the relationship. Even after separation or divorce, financial control can continue, especially if shared assets, alimony, or child support are involved.
If you notice any of these coercive control warning signs, it’s crucial to take them seriously and start thinking about how to regain control over your finances. Without financial independence, leaving an unhealthy situation can be extremely difficult.
What You Can Do If You Recognize These Coercive Control Warning Signs
If any of these coercive control warning signs resonate with you, it’s important to acknowledge that what you are experiencing is not normal or acceptable in any healthy relationship. Here are some steps you can take if you believe you are being subjected to coercive control:
Document Everything: Start by keeping detailed records of controlling behaviors, particularly those related to financial control or isolation tactics. Emails, texts, and even a written journal can serve as a valuable record if you decide to seek legal advice. Documentation is also crucial if you share finances or custody of children.
Rebuild Your Support System: Reach out to friends, family, or a trusted community, even if you’ve been isolated. Re-establishing your connections can be a powerful first step toward gaining emotional support. You might also consider joining a support group where you can share your experiences with others who have faced similar situations.
Seek Professional Guidance: Whether through a lawyer, therapist, or financial advisor, seeking professional help is essential to understanding your legal and financial rights and options. A counselor can help you process your emotions and provide coping strategies, while a financial advisor can guide you toward regaining financial independence. Legal advice is particularly important if you are considering leaving the relationship or navigating a divorce.
Take Action for Your Freedom
Recognizing these coercive control warning signs is the first and most important step toward regaining your freedom. Remember that coercive control is a form of abuse, and it’s not something you have to face alone. Whether you’re still in the relationship or have recently separated or divorced, it’s never too late to seek help and take back control of your life.
If you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out. Help is available, and there are resources to guide you toward a healthier, independent future.
Michelle Green
Founder & SEO, The Boodle Hub Limited